Public Enemy – Check Out My Package
April 21, 2011 on 10:20 pm | In Articles | No CommentsUp until recently, this was hosted on my old (now defunct) blog, so I’m rehosting it here because, I mean, Shit, man. It’s really funny.
Have you ever ordered something from the internet? It’s fucking great. You pay for it with money you earned selling narcotics to the mentally ill, and they ship it right to your door. At least, that’s how it’s supposed to work. Back in ’07, I ordered some stupid shit from a major online retailer and they shipped it to me using Purolator, a Canadian parcel destroying service. Here’s what happened.
Moon Doctors – Terrifying Tales of Stefan Phillips
September 16, 2010 on 5:09 pm | In Articles | 3 CommentsThe following is a special guest article by Social Revolutionary / Factory Employee Stefan Phillips. Despite being relatively unknown to the ignorant masses, “Sensei” Stefan Phillips continues to be a driving force in the dark world of anti-establishment-pseudo-socialist gonzo journalism. Here is his personal account of the world changing events that occurred August 24, 2009.
It was a chilly night, especially for August. I stood atop a fencepost, balanced precariously on one expertly trained foot, surveying the small town I called my home. As my brow glistened, resplendent in the moonlight, I coolly sipped from my home-distilled bottle of water. You’d never catch me drinking that filth from the tap, laden with chemicals designed to weaken your will, or that brand named bottle garbage brimming with mind altering drugs. No sir, this is Stefan Phillips we’re talking about, though some call me “The Man who Knows Too Much”. There’s truth behind this name; I have knowledge of things you’d never even dream of. I know things that would get me killed by federal agents in black helicopters in a heartbeat if I wasn’t too clever to be found. Consequently, I keep a low profile, like a shadow in the night. But on this night, my shadow would be visible to the wrong sort of eyes, and I could feel it in my gut.
Continue reading Moon Doctors – Terrifying Tales of Stefan Phillips…
Public Enemy – Darkthrone Doesn’t Advertise
May 15, 2010 on 6:21 pm | In Articles | No CommentsIt’s time for another PUBLIC ENEMY, wherein I act like an asshole to strangers on the internet and post the results.
The backstory:
One day, after a hard day of work euthanizing radioactive orphans from Belarus (Is he joking?), I returned home and checked my electronic mail. Waiting in my inbox was this retarded shit:
Continue reading Public Enemy – Darkthrone Doesn’t Advertise…
Arm the Stupid Annual Art Expo 2010, Week One
March 3, 2010 on 8:57 pm | In Articles | 1 Comment
It’s March, and you know what that means! An entire month without a single statutory holiday. It also means it’s time for the Arm The Stupid Art Gallery spring collection. If this all seems new to you, that would make you a philistine, and you will totally lose indie cred amongst your hipster peers. So, once we’ve all begun to pretend that we’ve been viewing the art of Arm the Stupid since “waaayyyyy before it was trendy”, we can get on to the showings!
For the first time in over 65 million years, this season, the art of Arm The Stupid will be following a theme; Togetherness. So, when carefully assessing these timeless classics, please hold the word “togetherness” in your mouth, swishing it around gently before chewing it laboriously and hawking it on the floor. Ladies, Gentlemen, and the French, I give you:
Public Enemy : Nigerian Scammer Edition
July 29, 2009 on 5:16 pm | In Articles | 2 CommentsSome of you may remember my old blog here, and you might recall a little series I called Public Enemy, in which I would act like a dick to strangers on the internet and post about it. Well, I’m still a dick to strangers, and it’s high time I started flaunting it more. That said, here you go.
Nigerian scammers are commonplace on the internet nowadays, and many of us know at least one retard person who has been drawn in by the charming broken English of a West African charlatan. Despite this, I didn’t receive my first scam attempt until a few days ago, which, quite honestly, had me feeling pretty down. Why was I being snubbed by these brilliant entrepreneurs? Was stealing my money somehow beneath you? Rest assured, it ain’t. An upstanding gentleman named “ZANKO ALI” (Yes, it’s all in upper case. That must be the syntax over there.) contacted me on July 23rd with an offer that I couldn’t refuse.
Continue reading Public Enemy : Nigerian Scammer Edition…
Announcement: Wikkee! to run for Canadian Office
April 10, 2009 on 1:23 pm | In Articles, news | No CommentsContact: Arm The Stupid.com
INTERNET CELEBRITY ANNOUNCED AS NEW DPC CANDIDATE.
Continue reading Announcement: Wikkee! to run for Canadian Office…
Arm The Stupid.com Re-Relaunch!
April 3, 2009 on 7:30 pm | In news | 1 CommentI’m back, and so is Arm the Stupid! For the first time since late 2007, a new Epic is up (see below). Thanks to WordPress, I have a new layout and indeed, new format. Be on the lookout for new works from us, and don’t be afraid to leave a comment.
HAIL WIKKEE!
ACT 00101011010: People who Have Glass Bones Shouldn’t Throw Houses
April 3, 2009 on 7:27 pm | In Epic | 1 Comment
ACT 00101011010: People who Have Glass Bones Shouldn’t Throw Houses
by Wikkee!
Continue reading ACT 00101011010: People who Have Glass Bones Shouldn’t Throw Houses…
God Unmasked
April 3, 2009 on 6:24 pm | In Articles | No CommentsNotice: This article was originally published April 14th, 2006 on Arm The Stupid.
By Wikkee! of Arm the Stupid
Since the dawn of time, controversy aside, Homo sapiens have shared an uncanny connection with primates, such as apes, baboons, and of course, monkeys. In exploring the aforementioned correlation, one cannot ignore the ancient yet enduring evolutionary debate. Theologians contend that we, Homo sapiens, were created “in the image of god” (“So God created man in his own image, in the image of god created he him; male and female created he them.” Genesis 1:27)
Continue reading God Unmasked…
Curren’ Events – Volume One
April 3, 2009 on 6:04 pm | In Articles | No CommentsNotice: This article was originally published September 5th, 2007 on Arm The Stupid.
Curren’ Events by Buck Fiddy
Powered by WordPress with Pool theme design by Borja Fernandez .
Entries and comments feeds.
Valid XHTML and CSS. ^Top^
Hastily Modified by Wikkee! of Arm The Stupid Content (C) 2003 - 2011 Arm The Stupid. All Rights reserved.