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Arm the Stupid Annual Art Expo 2010, Week One

It’s March, and you know what that means! An entire month without a single statutory holiday. It also means it’s time for the Arm The Stupid Art Gallery spring collection. If this all seems new to you, that would make you a philistine, and you will totally lose indie cred amongst your hipster peers. So, once we’ve all begun to pretend that we’ve been viewing the art of Arm the Stupid since “waaayyyyy before it was trendy”, we can get on to the showings!

For the first time in over 65 million years, this season, the art of Arm The Stupid will be following a theme; Togetherness. So, when carefully assessing these timeless classics, please hold the word “togetherness” in your mouth, swishing it around gently before chewing it laboriously and hawking it on the floor. Ladies, Gentlemen, and the French, I give you:

Public Enemy : Nigerian Scammer Edition

Some of you may remember my old blog here, and you might recall a little series I called Public Enemy, in which I would act like a dick to strangers on the internet and post about it. Well, I’m still a dick to strangers, and it’s high time I started flaunting it more. That said, here you go.

Nigerian scammers are commonplace on the internet nowadays, and many of us know at least one retard person who has been drawn in by the charming broken English of a West African charlatan. Despite this, I didn’t receive my first scam attempt until a few days ago, which, quite honestly, had me feeling pretty down. Why was I being snubbed by these brilliant entrepreneurs? Was stealing my money somehow beneath you? Rest assured, it ain’t. An upstanding gentleman named “ZANKO ALI” (Yes, it’s all in upper case. That must be the syntax over there.) contacted me on July 23rd with an offer that I couldn’t refuse.

Announcement: Wikkee! to run for Canadian Office

Arm The Stupid.com Re-Relaunch!

I’m back, and so is Arm the Stupid! For the first time since late 2007, a new Epic is up (see below). Thanks to Wordpress, I have a new layout and indeed, new format. Be on the lookout for new works from us, and don’t be afraid to leave a comment.

HAIL WIKKEE!

ACT 00101011010: People who Have Glass Bones Shouldn’t Throw Houses

ACT 00101011010: People who Have Glass Bones Shouldn’t Throw Houses
by Wikkee!

God Unmasked

Notice: This article was originally published April 14th, 2006 on Arm The Stupid.

Since the dawn of time, controversy aside, Homo sapiens have shared an uncanny connection with primates, such as apes, baboons, and of course, monkeys. In exploring the aforementioned correlation, one cannot ignore the ancient yet enduring evolutionary debate. Theologians contend that we, Homo sapiens, were created “in the image of god” (“So God created man in his own image, in the image of god created he him; male and female created he them.” Genesis 1:27)
Continue reading God Unmasked…

Curren’ Events – Volume One

Notice: This article was originally published September 5th, 2007 on Arm The Stupid.

Wikkee’s Wisdom – 2

Notice: This article was originally published December 31st, 2007 on Arm The Stupid.

Disputes are settled with it, business deals sealed, even children are taught the importance of compromise. Is it the last outpost of fair play in a world of corruption? Or is it an adverse side-effect of the human condition?
Continue reading Wikkee’s Wisdom – 2…

Wikkee’s Wisdom – 1

Notice: This article was originally published August 10th, 2007 on Arm The Stupid.

I have some questions.

In ten years, this world will be run by the same people that used to draw cartoon penises in the margins of my junior high-school textbooks.
Continue reading Wikkee’s Wisdom – 1…

The Grey Area : Lesson Two

Notice: This article was originally published December 31st, 2007 on Arm The Stupid.

Well, it’s been a while, but I’ve finally returned to educate you dullards once again! I’ve been very busy these last few months, doing everything I can to avoid writing another one of these fucking articles! These activities include extortion, abduction, incarceration, running for office, playing “LEGO Star Wars”, assassination, and water tubing.